Who knew?
by Llama Mama23
Summary: As Bella and Jessica are driving back from Port Angeles, a song comes on that makes Bella remember things she doesn't want to. Things that hurt. Songfic: Who knew? by Pink.


**Authoress's note (HA! Get it?): ****I recently got a shower radio, and when this song played, a story started typing itself in my head. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Or any Pink songs. Actually I don't think I own anything of any significance. **

**The song is "Who Knew?" by P!nk. I recommend listening to it first, if you can.**

**Who knew?**

**A sad ****songfic by: Llama mama23**

**This**** takes place during the trip back from Port Angeles with Jessica and Bella, in New Moon. Bella just came out of zombie-land.**

**I know in the book it says that she was too focused on hearing Edward's 'voice' for the first time to hear the songs playing, but for my story to work, I have to change all that.**

**Bella's Point of View**

Jessica was driving too fast. Outside, the trees flew by faster than my eyes could focus on them; I must have really freaked her out. I was still relishing in the faint echo of Edward's voice, still ringing through my head with crystal-clear clarity. Jessica angrily turned the station back from whatever rap I'd put it on during the car ride to the movies, back to her favorite station that played love songs and happy music. My worst nightmare.

Jessica stared out the front windshield, careful not to make any eye contact with me whatsoever, making it very clear that she did _not_ want to talk.

As I stared out my window, I could feel the memory of his voice start to fade, leaving me empty and cold. I faint thrum of pain edged around my chest, not yet enough to really hurt, but enough to tell me that it would. Very soon.

Then the song came on. Jessica would probably implode if I asked to turn it back to harmless rap, so I slouched in my chair, trying not to listen to the words that told the story of my life.

_You took my hand_

_You showed me how_

_You promised me you'd be around_

_Uh huh_

_That's right_

_I took your words_

_And I believed_

_In everything_

_You said to me_

_Yeah huh_

_That's right_

I'd heard this song before. During a different part of my life; a happier one. When I'd heard it the first time, a certain someone had leaned down, and whispered in my ear that he'd always be around; that he loved me. And I believed them. I'd been sure that he'd never leave. That was at the dance. One of the last happy memories.

_If someone said three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up and punch them out_

_Cause they're all wrong_

_I know better_

_Cause you said forever_

_And ever_

_Who knew?_

Forever. One simple word, yet so significant in my life. It held so many more implications to me than to any other human on the planet, so many more possibilities. In my old life, that word would _mean_ something. Not just a definition, but a reality, a way of life.

_Remember when we were such fools_

_And so convinced and just too cool_

_Oh no_

_No no_

_I wish I could touch you again_

_I wish I could still call you friend_

_I'd give anything_

His cold skin; his velvet words. My arm flew around my middle, vainly attempting to hold my broken body together. Jessica glanced at me from the corner of her eye, and quickly looked away; I probably looked like I was going to throw up. I clutched my stomach tighter, using all the strength available in my fragile human arms.

_When someone said count your blessings now_

_'fore they're long gone_

_I guess I just didn't know how_

_I was all wrong_

_They knew better_

_Still you said forever_

_And ever_

_Who knew?_

The kids at school, all saying that it would never last; that someone like _him_ wouldn't be interested in someone like _me_ for long. It was only a matter of time. It always was.

_I'll keep you locked in my head_

_Until we meet again_

_Until we_

_Until we meet again_

_And I won't forget you my friend_

_What happened?_

All the memories. Etched in my head forever, yet in so much danger of being forgotten. His family, his voice, everything about him. About all of them. Alice… Esme… Why didn't they say goodbye?

_If someone said three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up and punch them out_

_Cause they're all wrong and_

_That last kiss_

_I'll cherish_

The last kiss. So hard, yet gentle at the same time. Familiar in unpleasant ways, spelling out for me that the end was coming. I pushed the memory aside, my breathing getting heavier as I struggled to pull air into my lungs, struggled to push all the thoughts aside until I could collapse into pieces in private.

_Until we meet again_

We never would meet again. Never. That was the one promise that I knew he'd keep. Forever.

_And time makes_

_It harder_

Time healed all wounds. Or so he thought. He must not remember being human, or he would know that time helps nothing. All it does is make us humans look uglier as we wallow in the pain of our pasts.

_I wish I could remember_

I could never think of him. It hurt too much. My stomach felt like it was trying to claw its way out of my body, my skin like it was trying to run away from me; everything hurt, but none of the pains came close to the gaping hole that was repeatedly being stabbed in my heart. It intensified when I though of never remembering him at all, never knowing what I knew now.

Forbidden to remember, yet terrified to forget.

_But I keep_

_Your memory_

_You visit me in my sleep_

His face… His touch…

_My darling_

_Who knew?_

I could feel his name burning at the entrance to the gate I'd made for it; to keep it from ever crossing my mind. He was always _him_. Never his name. But it was trying to burn its way out; I could feel it.

_My darling_

_My darling_

_Who knew?_

_My darling_

_I miss you_

Edward! Edward! Edward! Jessica pulled up to my house and I raced out of the car, not even able to get the words 'thank you' or 'goodbye' out of my mouth. I stumbled into the trees surrounding my house, collapsing against a dead oak and slowly sliding down its length until I hit the wet forest floor, hardly noticing as it seeped through my jeans. I was so wrapped in my cocoon of pain that I hardly noticed the single tear that slid slowly down my face. If I had, I would have been very surprised; my tear ducts seemed to have broken with my heart, dried up from too many hours crying. Memories swirled in my head, clouding my vision and blocking out anything but the pain. My eyes closed as my body slowly put me to sleep, in an attempt to ease my suffering, but I knew it would only last for a few minutes. Even a short relief from the agony would be too good to be true. I'd probably wake up in about three minutes, go back home to Charlie, stumble up to my room, and fall apart all over again.

_My darling_

Edward… I love you…

_Who knew?_

**A/N: This is a nice companion piece to my story "Blank Pictures." If you liked this, go check that one out.**


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